Your unique strength is that you live in the heart of relationship and are the world's best friend.
Here’s why you are an Earth Angel and how you can use your unique strength to help heal your abandonment issues:
Your nurturing nature also means that your tendency is to focus on others and put your needs last. It’s a survival pattern that helps you feel valuable.
Nothing wrong with helping others! But your outpouring of heartfelt giving can leave you depleted, empty-handed, unappreciated and feeling hurt or resentful.
Giving and receiving in relationships is woven into the everyday fabric of life. But heaven help those who don’t learn how to do it in a balanced way. Like many things in life, the heart has blind spots.
Deep down, there may be hidden needs you are doing your best to fill - but in a way that ultimately cannot work.
How did this pattern develop?
Maybe something like this (with goodness and innocence)
~ You are drawn to the warmth of love like a puppy cuddling in a litter.
~ When you were a child, there may have been caregivers who couldn’t meet your need for loving presence.
~ You innocently took on the role of being a loving presence and helping others. You suppressed your own needs (since no one was able to meet them, anyway).
~ Eventually, your generosity ended up with you neglecting authentic self-care and self-respect.
~ This creates a neediness that you can’t fill with more giving.
~ Hidden resentments build as your needs continue to be unfilled.
How can you be in the natural flow of give and take when you deny your own needs?
Some possible (and frustrating) dynamics are:
Being so relationship oriented, why don’t your relationships work out better?
How can being an Earth Angel go so wrong?
Because healthy, sustainable relationships require two healthy,
sustainable (self-nurturing) firmly grounded human (NOT angelic) adults.
Habitually focusing on the needs of others and on relationships
may mean you have blocks around:
Knowing what to do to fulfill your own needs
Your connection with your True Self, or "higher" self, or inner guidance
Your beautiful desire for happiness in relationship may include patterns that sabotage you.
“When we realize that real happiness lies within us,
we will know that everything outside of us is just a play.”
Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi, the hugging saint)
Accept that you don’t have to TRY to create love.
In fact, trying to give, get or create love is proof that you believe there is LACK of love, including love that is for you. The belief might sound like this:
"Life lacks love unless you drain yourself out for everyone
(but you don’t get any for yourself).”
Is that the message you want to send? How would this feel instead?
“Life IS love and I love myself (and you and everyone)
and there’s plenty of love and it simply is.”
Not convinced? Does it seem too simple? Try this little experiment:
Acknowledging your pain and disconnect is actually bringing you into true PRESENCE -
with what is real in this moment. It brings you into depth. It allows you to receive kindness.
Have compassion for yourself that what you want is good and beautiful.
Resolve to shift the patterns that hinder your balanced flow of love with yourself and in relationships.
Remember - as an EARTH ANGEL, Earth comes first!
Imagine that instead of attending Hogwarts :-) you attended Earth Angel University.
Do you imagine you would get lessons in how to neglect your needs? Maybe you can imagine you received these sorts of lessons:
For me to fulfill my purpose, I will need:
I will need support and help.
I will need a shoulder to cry on sometimes.
I will need to to acknowledge my “weaknesses.”
I need to learn what will help me be the best helper possible.
I will need to learn how to be receptive to love and support.
What are the many ways that love and support can appear?
I need to appreciate where I’d be without support.
I need to humbly accept how Grace operates in my life.
I need to see when I act as if I can (or should) do it all.
I need to be the kind of helper I would I want my children to be.
Here you are on planet Earth. A HUMAN Earth Angel. How do you enjoy loving the world? How are you already living your purpose of loving the world?
Are you taking into your heart how much YOU benefit from being you?
Are you respecting yourself? None of this happens without you, so please take incredibly good care of yourself
AND take great care to understand that what you need in relationships is self-care and balanced give and take. Remember that ‘saint’ is not your job title (who wants to be in relationship with a saint anyway?)
Ground yourself in the reality of human egos, including your own. There is no perfection, only progress in the human realm, and we cannot foresee how life is supposed to be evolving.
Remember that relationships are human agreements. It is your job to value what you have to offer as precious--so negotiate agreements that sustain you.
The happiness of others is not your responsibility, but YOU ARE. Take care of yourself first so that you CAN share your divine love with the world.
Acknowledge that love is unconditional, it exists apart from any conditions - it is not dependent on relationships or sacrifice.
Be humble - you are not “god” and you do not know what is best.
I hope by now that you recognize how being in “output mode” for others is not sustainable. And that nurturing yourself is an inside job.
Your true need (true for all of us) is to take a stand for your own SACRED SELFISHNESS.
Just as a person needs air to breathe,
the soul needs to be nurtured with love and care. ~Amma~
Hi, I’m Laura Frisbie, M.Ed., C.R.R.P.
The unique strength I offer you is a laser-direct and proven whole-being approach to healing painful, embarrassing abandonment issues.
It wasn’t until my third marriage at age 45 that I discovered what abandonment issues were (and that I HAD THEM!)
I KNEW there was something out of whack with me and my relationships. I used to say I needed so much healing that I had to be a practitioner so I could get some every day.
Even so, “abandonment issues” was the key --And this was after being a certified holistic healing practitioner for 9 years!
Soon, I had clients eager to work on their abandonment issues with me.
Ever since then, for about 9 years now, I’ve studied every angle of abandonment issues imaginable. Adverse childhood experiences, trauma, attachment issues, spirituality, psychology (of course), consciousness, neurology… there’s more but you get the idea.
I would discover a new angle, immerse myself in study, apply it to myself, and gain clarity about the principles and patterns. Then the clients that needed it would show up.
After doing that for many years I believed that the deep, holistic healing of abandonment issues was THE cornerstone.
But there were non-coherent patterns in the everyday personality that I’d see over and over regardless of the individual history.
The “personality” patterns had “blind spots” that could make a real mess of things, that would block the full potential healing, and that were not just the results abandonment or trauma.
I discovered that sure enough, human personalities have a spectrum from non-coherent to highly coherent. I discovered the secrets of “personality coherence” that are actually connections to your higher, true Self.
"Quite amazing!! It’s always been hard for me to allow myself to feel all the feelings because I stuff ‘em down, usually. I’d say in general, I feel more in touch with my feminine side. I am also giving myself permission to buy things I really want and have things the way I want them. it seems I am feeling more “deserving” —of emotions, of things, of whatever." Kristine - Real Estate Agent, Entrepreneur, Mother
"Deep and lasting positive change. Laura's work is a real gift to me. I do traditional therapy to all kind of healing work. I'm in that field myself and I'm discerning. Laura's work is a super valuable part of my personal growth regimen. The changes that occur in our phone sessions are deep and long-lasting. Permanent I would say." Asenath
Game Changer! Sessions with Laura changed the course of my life. After talk-therapy for ten years I felt like I was talking in circles. I had loss and trauma that seemed impossible to overcome. I learned how to truly love and accept myself which changed the course of my career, gently began to soften the loss and trauma, and made my relationship that was on the verge of ending not only possible, but more joyful and stable than ever. Aimee' - NYC Actress & Director
Completely Different - I feel like Laura is working on an entirely different energetic level rather than just with the mind. So far it has been an amazing experience and I am feeling optimistic about the future. Caroline, UK Social Services
Life delivers “abandonment” challenges regardless of our stage in life.
Once we’ve released the triggers of unresolved abandonment we’re ready to begin developing resonance with our true selves --and then the pain of abandonment become opportunities for growth.
Schedule your free 30 minute consultation to discover exactly how I can help you shift into your unique power and release the patterns and blocks that are holding you back..
Let’s talk and explore how my work can help you. You can reserve your free consultation with a $10 deposit (refunded upon completion). There is never any pressure to buy because what I offer requires your commitment on a deep, personal level.
Are you ready to heal?