Shoving little hurts under the implodes!

by Tricia

A lifetime and family history of shoving little hurts under the rug, it does explode, erode and corrode! (And then implode). This has been a problem my whole life and I am only starting to see the value in being vigilant - and to believe it it might be worth taking the risk to be engaged with the little hurts. I have some faith in the potential for deeper bonding because of making the effort.

It is only recently that I can be aware in the moment when I feel hurt and am stuffing. Often it feels like an inopportune time to address it. But there is great loss in not being immediately can at least say..."this is what I am experiencing and we need to talk about it ASAP".

I have been sad that a long term friend had not reached out to me about a serious issue (alcoholism) which she successfully covered up ...and it got really bad the last couple of years and I did not know. I realized I had not shared in totally honest ways either...most of us are reluctant to burden our friends, whine, complain etc...and since I always want to be helpful, I tend to come across as having it "together," which believe me, there have been years when I was holding on by my teeth. So, in other words, I can see how my not being vulnerable with her...made it less likely that she would be vulnerable with me.

Suffice it to say, your offering is supremely helpful. I look forward to passing it on.

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