Self help with relationships has to begin with the most important piece of the puzzle - YOU.
In order to dig deep and make real changes, you have to begin with being sort of like a therapist for yourself. You have to see what is going on under the surface that is contributing to the problems from your end.
But when you do this inquiry, the first thing that happens - almost automatically - is feeling like you are flawed, bad and wrong, broken, shameful and so on.
So you REALLY need to make a promise to yourself that you will "hold the healing space".
WHEN you do the "Bad Me" thing (because you will) - notice that you are doing it. Just notice. Don't scold yourself or feel like you are messing up. But DO be aware. Do hold yourself with love, compassion, understanding, and FAITH.
You CAN learn to be a WIZARD at self help with relationships! So get out your pointy hat and magic wand. (I actually do have both!)
Have faith that you are starting on this path because you know that you ARE changing. You are in a process. So don't let your learning curve discourage (or define) you.
I've written some questions for you to consider. As much as possible, just notice how your "state of being" - your "inner environment" is affected by looking at this stuff.
Don't think and analyze and solve. It is practicing relaxing around highly charged feelings that IS the self help with relationships that you need.
These questions can be painful, so remember--
if you can't feel it, you can't heal it
Loving kindness supports you in facing and healing your feelings.
We all carry a certain energy or "vibe" around relationships. Yes, different kinds of relationships have different vibes. One vibe for friends, one for lovers, children, family, colleagues, etc.
Underneath each of them, however, is a primary "you in relationship to relationship" vibe. Each of these different vibes come from the same place and they each affect the whole.
And be sure to notice the YOU in relationship to YOU vibe. The YOU in relationship to self help with relationships! Watch your vibe...don't shame it, just name it.
It makes sense, doesn't it? That there is an energy or vibe that you are carrying (which is NOT your fault or your flaw - not at ALL).
No, it is more like a learned "INNER ENVIRONMENT" that affects your entire life in painful ways that you can't even SEE. Like a fish can't see water.
One more time...as you consider these questions in your self help with relationships journey, hold yourself with love and compassion. Something created your hurt...YOU didn't. Take on a detached, brave "can do" kind of spirit.
You can think of it like an old piece of shrapnel that needs to be removed and cleaned. It isn't YOU...it isn't who you ARE...it isn't who you SET OUT TO BE.
These questions are just a sample of the kind of self help with relationships explorations it is good to do.
What are some other areas of inquiry that fit your history?
Remember, each type of relationship "vibe" that you carry affects them all. The good news is bringing healing to any one of them also positively affects them all.
Continue with more Self Help On Relationships
Is it stirring up some stuff? Anything seem like it was kind of "unconscious" before now?
Are you noticing some fears that you carry? Like fear of rejection or fear of being alone? Fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy or fear of commitment?
Are you getting the sense that it IS a good idea to work on your own relationship stuff -- before you focus on a particular relationship?
Do you notice a tendency to focus on what the OTHER person is doing, thinking, feeling, saying? Do you notice how AFFECTED you are by the other person?
Go to the link below to continue
with important relationships self help in part two
"The sense of peace and optimism is wonderful."
"I hit a wall of sadness, loneliness, depression and anxiety. My therapist wasn't able to drill into the reasons and get me feeling better.
Laura's site had me feeling positive that there were imprinted patterns that could be changed without medication, without years of talk therapy. I was skeptical, but in a lot of pain and called Laura.
After one interesting and very insightful session, I was hooked. Laura was able to identify abandonment issues that no therapist had been able to, even to pinpointing the specific years of my childhood that were at issue. They were years I was not aware of, and had to reach to my older brother to fill in the blanks of that period in my life.
It turned out there was much sadness, grief, death and abandonment during my formative years...years I don't even remember but that have imprinted me.
I have now worked with Laura for over 6 weeks. I am hooked! This work is interesting, rejuvenating, quite different and I feel uplifted at the end of every session.
I am a different person today than I was six weeks ago. My abandonment issues are GREATLY diminished. I am much more aware of my triggers, know how to manage them better and feel more in control and happier than I've been in a long time. The sense of peace and optimism is wonderful.
Some of my friends think this work sounds crazy, I am a convert and am pleased beyond words that my web search brought me to Laura and Resonance Repatterning work."
Thank you Laura. You're a gem! ~L.G.~ Executive Manager, Fortune 500 Company, CA
I provide highly successful, holistic mind and body phone sessions
that go directly to the heart of problems and get you moving in a better
Each session resolves and releases what holds your negative patterns in place (mentally, physically, emotionally, and energetically.)
Each session shifts you on a deep, root level into aligning what you need and want -- so you live it and attract it with much more ease.
Continue to Part Two: Self Help On Relationships
Go to Fear of Relationships: Create An Energy of Safety
Go to Intimacy Definition: Stop the Slow Death of Relationship
Go to Self Help Social Anxiety: The most effective social anxiety self help is going to be based on deep understanding and clarity on root causes before anything else.
Top of Homepage: Dealing with Abandonment Issues